Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
