Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was confusing and full of hummus
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
