oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
