I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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