this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
