Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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