Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
