didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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