Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
