Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
