he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
