If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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