I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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