I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
