sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize