think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
