He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
