Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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