he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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