Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
