I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
