matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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