Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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