it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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