ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
