singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
