jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
