These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
