Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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