I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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