i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
