What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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