Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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