Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im six kinds of drunk right now
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
