You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
