At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
