Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Randomize
