i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
