i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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