if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
