oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
