is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
