Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Congratulations! We have a period
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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