I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
