Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize