i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
