It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
