Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
