I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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