I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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