watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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