yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize