This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize