You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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