this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
