Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
