Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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