You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
