I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
did you just send me my own nude
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
