JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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