Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
