who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
