my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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