We need to rekindle our bromance
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
