Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
